Hi, my name is Karl. I’ve been writing for literally as long as I can remember. I am also a gifted performer with numerous pretend Grammys and other awards, having played sold-out shows in my bedroom for almost as long as I’ve been churning out imaginary best-selling novels. You’re really quite fortunate to have stumbled across me here. Your life is very likely about to be immeasurably enriched.
I’m originally from New York, but graduated high school in New Mexico (which is, indeed, part of the United States, in case you didn’t know). I’ve lived in a smattering of places in between ever since, mostly in the south and southwest. I lived in England for three years while I was in the military, and that’s where I learned what real beer tastes like. Of course, I recently developed a gluten sensitivity and can’t have beer anymore, so life is barely worth living, but hey…what are you going to do? Now you can find me in Florida because snow would mean I’d have to wear socks again, and life is too short for that shit.
SecondHand Tryptophan (2HT in shorthand) is a blog I started around 2005. It was popular in a low-key way, meaning more than 10 people knew about it. I wrote nearly every day for a while there, before I stopped. I even had a podcast, which was likely awful since I literally phoned them in. I know I’m not going back to listen to them again.
I sing. I watch too much television. I hate lima beans, seafood, and people who drive 10 mph below the speed limit. I play poker. I’m a really good swearer. I love horrible puns. I’m crazy obsessed with music. I’m a filthy stinking liberal. At least that’s what the locals tell me. Mostly, though, I’m a major smartass with a rather deadpan delivery. People hate that. You probably will, too.
Oh, and my family was right about me the entire time I was growing up: I AM mentally ill. It only gets more neurotic from here.