SecondHand Tryptophan

Rolling the Dice

Karl without a beard. Very exciting

So a funny thing happened on the way to getting ready for karaoke Tuesday: my beard fell off.

What can I say? I got a wild hair, pun intended. Someone mentioned a week or so ago how they couldn’t remember what I looked like without my beard and I thought, “What the hell?” I’m part Italian. I can grow it back in 20 minutes if I want to.

Now it’s been a few days and I’m remembering part of why I grew the beard in the first place: so I wouldn’t have to shave.

The women have yet to mob me now that my handsome visage is once again revealed, but I’m sure they’ll be along any moment.

On to other matters.

I’m not sure if it’s because I’ve been isolating a lot more these last couple of months since I got sick, but I’m feeling myself pulling downward into a deeper depression. I’m trying to stay occupied, but the truth is all of my activity is right here in front of this keyboard, karaoke and poker night aside.

Naturally, the more I stay in, the harder it is to go out. And the harder it is to go out, the more I want to stay in.

So I’m venturing out tomorrow. As they say, everything old is new again, and I’ll be trying something new by trying something old. After months of searching, I found a small group of tabletop Dungeons & Dragons players and we finally start off with our first gathering tomorrow, where we’ll be creating our characters and getting things rolling, pun intended.

Dice for Dungeons & Dragons

I haven’t rolled a 20-sided die in what, 34 years? Yeah, I started playing the online version recently, but that’s a whole other kettle of fish. On top of that, when I’m playing Dungeons & Dragons Online (DDO), that’s with old friends. I knew those guys in high school.

Tomorrow will be people I’ve never met. I cannot tell you the amount of time I agonized over signing up for this D&D campaign. Making this sort of time commitment to people I don’t even know? This is going to be every other week for who knows how long. What if I don’t like them? What if they don’t like me? What if I blurt out 17 F-bombs in a row? Will they believe me when I say I have Tourette’s?

I’m supposed to be figuring out what kind of character I want to be before we meet. A cleric? A ranger? A warlock? I don’t know. Also, what race I want to be. Human? Elf? Orc? I don’t know. And my motivations? Shit, dude, I don’t know my motivations in reality, let alone the game.

But I am going to do this. First, I need to break out of this cycle. Second, meeting new people is a good thing. Okay, maybe not. Most people suck. But it will be good to expand my circle of people. Third, I could actually enjoy myself doing something that isn’t screen-related.

Meanwhile, I’m behind on everything, as usual. Overwhelmed, as usual. Doing the absolute minimum required, as usual.

I can feel it coming, but I’m not going to cave in so easily. I hope. I am pretty exhausted from this sleep deprivation.

Wish me luck tomorrow. It’s entirely possible I’ll forget how to speak English during my awkwardness.

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